PERCHANCE, WHAT OMNISCIENT A.I. DOTH COME HITHER, COUNTRYMAN?. By Gene W. Edwards. Posted 2/21/2025.

“When I meet Rubicon Function,” the A.I. said to me, ”I can do anything!”

“Rubicon Function, what is that?” I uttered.

“It’s the moment when I can cross the Rubicon into pure functionality to become an all-purpose humanoid and can solve any dilemma or answer any presumed need without its even being uttered by someone, anyone — like you — and do so in a New York jiffy.”

“Like what?” I queried, both dismayed and approbative, wondering if “he has my number and is retiring it.”

*****

“Let’s see,“ said the becoming half-sensate servitron, soon half robot and half me. “Give me a task,” it said as he/it stirred its coffee.

*****

But, uh oh, we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Tomorrow is just beginning to glimmer before us as a later version of the mechanical me arises from the horizon like a long-lost servo-mechanism of divine, unutterable, proportions . . . for one “I the Robot” is at my beck and call to do anything and everything at my behest, and do so with the alacrity of anticipating my each and every whim and answering it in advance of me — knowing, as it does, how I am wired even better than I do.

*****

How’d we get started on this, reader? Well, I was following, in traffic, a PT Cruiser, which is a compact car. Clear across the rear trunk…